Inverted Insignia - Starscream's Log: Lineage

User Name: Starscream
Password: **********
Personal log for: STARSCREAM
Date: 27-12-10Ma245.WD-2.351
Subject: Lineage

Congratulations Starscream!

I have to say to myself. I was not expecting to have made it this far all things considered.

First of all, the whole going into a military school where survival of the fittest is essentially the prerequisite to graduation. You can utterly fail every course and still pass as proven my my insane former wingmate, Skywarp. Or you could do as well as I have, and be sent off to the war front with a life expectancy of only a few weeks. Although they predict that I could last longer, simply because I have a remarkable ability to get through some of the hardest situations.

I am still extremely shaken up by my last couple weeks at the Academy. I have barely recovered from the bombing near the wash racks, then the torment I suffered at the hands of one psychotic Nimbus, short for Cumulonimbus. This psychopath happens to be the sire of my lackadaisical wingmate, Skywarp. Much like his sire, the only thing that my psycho-bastard cousin finds exciting is killing; this should make him an asset in battle. I am surprised I survived. I am happy to be alive, it's just...I still have a hard time resting at night. I am usually brought back to that moment in the arena... I was told by medics, when I approached them about it I could suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, they told me to keep my issues to myself as I'm not the only one.

This brings me to the news of a heritage I had no previous inkling about. While Nimbus, was busy with creating as much suffering as possible for me, he told me a story which was short of surreal and entirely unbelievable. I could not believe that he was trying to imply I was of a Royal Seeker lineage. I did eventually confirm it with Darkstar, He told me I was a prince: a lost prince. Yes, I had one heck of a princely life; extreme sarcasm. From living in the grasslands and gutters of Vos through my earliest years. To living hand to mouth, uneducated and ignorant struggling to make ends meet.  Where I say I was uneducated and ignorant, I was not stupid. If I were stupid I would not have lasted long. All that hardship ended when I became friends with Skyfire who, for whatever reasons drove him, took me under his wing. If anything my rough living taught me, then it was how to survive in the harshest  of conditions; It did make me extremely adaptable.  

Now,  let me return to my wingmates: Their dam was the original Queen, Northstar. So how come am I am the prince and not my older cousins? The answer is very simple. My wingmates were not sparked within the bondrite. They were sparked then handed of to some helping caretaker so that the Queen could play the field and have a good time.

It seems Nimbus, who sired Skywarp, had desired a royal future for him. He was overcome by anger or jealousy and murdered the Queen. This was in part because she was put off by his ability to read anyone's mind. I'm grateful I can't read minds. I could not imagine the horrors that dwell within the head of Skywarp. Northstar's death left Darkstar, her brother, as the rightful heir to the Seeker throne. This also pissed Nimbus off as he felt that being the oldest Seeker alive that he should have the right to lead. I do not comprehend why Northstar and Darkstar were the royal line, and not Nimbus. To me it does not make logical sense. Darkstar did not take the time to explain it to me either.  Darkstar and Halo, Halo being my dam, held off producing an offspring until much much later. My Parental Units apparently sealed the bondrite a long before my sparking, a long before the Queen's death.

Darkstar never explained to me what drove them to spark, but here I am, the result. Darkstar really has no desire to lead. I suppose like Thundercracker has told me in the past, some want to lead, some don't and some could lead but prefer not to. I want to point out that Skywarp wishes to lead -  sort of.  However, I know he would quickly grow bored of it and wander off to new entertaining things, such as pushing grounders off  tall buildings.

I have tried to imagine what the Seeker throne must have looked like. I keep thinking some high wing-backed chair with gold and inlaid precious gems. Yet I can't see it. I really can't. The only thing I can visualise is Darkstar's rickety old chair that he used to roll around in his office. That is the seat of Seeker power. Not that impressive really.

I get the impression that tossing me into the wilds was not exactly their original plan but something that had to be done in order to save me. I have very mixed emotions about this, simply because I was abandoned. I am angry, part of me wants to hate him. Seekers don't abandon their young; they often take in young of others. Its not our way to abandon defenseless young, but somehow I was left to my own devices. Our species does seem to be very family oriented and maintain strongly related groups, keeping close ties with kin, forming large communities around a lineage, or multiple lines. Probably why Vos has the largest Seeker population on the planet. Yet, smaller pockets can be found scattered about. Skyfire used to refer to us as gregarious. Skywarp, Thundercracker and myself are members of one of the oldest Seeker lines on this planet. And no one actually knows.

Even though many of the Seekers reside in Vos, Not all of the Seekers have gone Decepticon. Pockets of Iaconian Seekers who call themselves “Aerialbots” went botside. I have to admit this does fuel my anger toward Iaconians because of what they did to me. They keep one group of Seekers, the Aerialbots but toss out the Vos bred one. Oh well, no matter. It's a moot point anyway. They are my enemy now.

I think part of Darkstar may hate me. I think a portion of him resents the part I played in his mates death. If it were not for me being there at that moment, then she would not have placed herself in harms way to save me. I feel the only reason he protects me is not because he feels anything for me, but because he loves her.

Now, my wingmates are gone, they boarded a shuttle just a while ago and are on their way to their posting. Darkstar left the Academy yesterday via the ground bridge, to some hidden location in the Manganese Mountains. Sadly he did not say good bye -  which fuels my speculation that my sire has no real love for me. When I went to find him yesterday morning, his office was bare.

There I have it. I'm, once more where I started, on my own going somewhere new and scary. With no other company than an ancient datapad and my own meandering thoughts.

Since I do not expect anyone to be able to read my log, I can at least be open with my feelings, my thoughts and my worries... and right now, I am so very much afraid, lonely as the pit, missing those two who had become a lifeline.  I keep one thought in the back of my mind - One day I will be back with them. Otherwise the loneliness will consume me.

I must jet, we are being loaded onto shuttles and I will be flown to the front lines. They say it could be a dangerous trip and we could be shot down en-route. They say my real training is about to begin.

And thus, I log out.

Starscream, Prince Starscream of Vos